1 00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:03,400 Sync and correction by Mlmlte www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:31,150 --> 00:00:32,270 Here you go! 3 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:33,190 Here you go! 4 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:34,860 Don't forget to vote everyone! 5 00:00:36,730 --> 00:00:37,650 Here you go, Fellas. 6 00:00:37,660 --> 00:00:39,450 Be sure to get these handed in tomorrow! 7 00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:41,680 - What's this? - Every student need to go home 8 00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:43,610 and vote on their favorite choice in each category. 9 00:00:43,810 --> 00:00:45,850 Favorite comedy actor, favorite comedy movie-- 10 00:00:45,950 --> 00:00:48,370 and then on Friday during lunch and recess, we're gonna have a big 11 00:00:48,390 --> 00:00:50,830 f-f-fantastic comedy awards show! 12 00:00:51,700 --> 00:00:54,820 Dude, an awards show just for comedy sounds like a bad idea. 13 00:00:55,270 --> 00:00:58,170 Fellas, do you have any ideas how difficult comedy is? 14 00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:00,870 Can't we just spend one lunch and recess saying thanks to 15 00:01:00,900 --> 00:01:02,580 those who make us smile and laugh every day? 16 00:01:02,610 --> 00:01:04,460 Yeah, look, I don't think I can make it, Jimmy. 17 00:01:04,510 --> 00:01:06,530 Yeah, sorry dude, I can't make either. 18 00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:08,700 Attention students, mkay. 19 00:01:08,740 --> 00:01:11,570 There will be a presentation by the special education department 20 00:01:11,580 --> 00:01:15,170 in the gymnasium Friday during lunch and recess, mkay. 21 00:01:15,250 --> 00:01:18,220 Attendance to this assembly is mandatory. 22 00:01:18,300 --> 00:01:21,420 All students and faculty are required to go. 23 00:01:21,630 --> 00:01:25,880 Which I guess means I gotta suck it too-- mkay. 24 00:01:26,170 --> 00:01:28,810 - Aw man really? - Don't worry everybody! 25 00:01:28,860 --> 00:01:31,430 I've spared no expense to make my comedy awards the biggest 26 00:01:31,440 --> 00:01:32,490 thing this school has ever seen. 27 00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:34,070 You're all gonna have a blast! 28 00:01:35,900 --> 00:01:39,580 Welcome to the special ed. Departments' first annual comedy awards. 29 00:01:39,940 --> 00:01:41,080 ♪ 30 00:01:41,140 --> 00:01:42,250 ♪ 31 00:01:43,730 --> 00:01:45,820 please welcome your host: Jimmy Valmer! 32 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:47,220 Woo hoo! 33 00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:47,510 Yeah! 34 00:01:47,530 --> 00:01:48,640 Alright! 35 00:01:49,990 --> 00:01:51,360 Oh boy! What a terrific audience! 36 00:01:51,580 --> 00:01:53,140 Can I get a what-what? 37 00:01:53,950 --> 00:01:56,950 We are here today to honor those who tirelessly work so hard 38 00:01:56,990 --> 00:01:57,970 to make us laugh. 39 00:01:58,110 --> 00:02:01,330 The first comedy award we are presenting is for the funniest kid in school. 40 00:02:01,420 --> 00:02:03,180 And the nominees are... 41 00:02:03,660 --> 00:02:05,110 Clyde Donovan. 42 00:02:05,470 --> 00:02:07,680 Kelly P. Gardner. 43 00:02:07,950 --> 00:02:09,640 Jimmy Valmer. 44 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:13,250 Oh wow, this is so exciting isn't it-- 45 00:02:13,660 --> 00:02:14,970 and the winner is-- 46 00:02:15,220 --> 00:02:16,940 oh my gosh, Jimmy Valmer! 47 00:02:16,990 --> 00:02:18,440 I can't believe I won! 48 00:02:18,570 --> 00:02:20,370 ♪ 49 00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:22,220 ♪ 50 00:02:22,300 --> 00:02:23,720 Wow. This is the greatest day of my life! 51 00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:25,810 Thanks, everyone, for this incredible award. 52 00:02:26,590 --> 00:02:27,770 Can we go now? 53 00:02:27,950 --> 00:02:28,560 Go? 54 00:02:28,570 --> 00:02:30,490 We still have over fifty awards to hand out! 55 00:02:30,540 --> 00:02:32,160 Ahhh! 56 00:02:32,830 --> 00:02:35,750 And the winner for best comedy performance in a movie is-- 57 00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:37,240 Ben Stiller! 58 00:02:37,350 --> 00:02:38,830 Come on up here, Ben! 59 00:02:40,380 --> 00:02:41,570 Is Ben Stiller here? 60 00:02:41,660 --> 00:02:42,500 No--? 61 00:02:42,550 --> 00:02:43,050 Huh... 62 00:02:43,100 --> 00:02:44,910 I guess Ben Stiller could not be with us tonight. 63 00:02:44,950 --> 00:02:46,630 So I'll accept this award on his behalf. 64 00:02:47,340 --> 00:02:50,450 And the award for funniest correspondents' dinner speech goes to... 65 00:02:51,410 --> 00:02:53,410 President Obama! 66 00:02:55,060 --> 00:02:56,510 Is President Obama here? 67 00:02:56,670 --> 00:02:57,390 No? 68 00:02:57,670 --> 00:03:00,030 I guess we'll just accept this award on his behalf. 69 00:03:01,990 --> 00:03:03,390 Wow, what a terrific audience. 70 00:03:03,460 --> 00:03:04,230 Isn't this great? 71 00:03:04,260 --> 00:03:06,500 Can I get another what-what? 72 00:03:06,900 --> 00:03:08,570 And now it's time to give out the award 73 00:03:08,620 --> 00:03:10,490 for the least funny people in the world. 74 00:03:10,820 --> 00:03:12,160 And the nominees are: 75 00:03:12,220 --> 00:03:14,120 The Germans. 76 00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:16,360 The Japanese. 77 00:03:17,220 --> 00:03:20,680 The Yupik eskimos of the Chukchi Peninsula. 78 00:03:22,580 --> 00:03:23,960 And the winner is-- 79 00:03:24,060 --> 00:03:25,460 the Germans! 80 00:03:27,580 --> 00:03:28,820 Uhhh. 81 00:03:28,890 --> 00:03:31,430 I guess unfortunately the Germans couldn't be with us tonight. 82 00:03:31,570 --> 00:03:33,210 So I will accept this award on their behalf. 83 00:03:33,290 --> 00:03:34,110 Aufedersein! 84 00:03:36,170 --> 00:03:38,250 And now for the Kathy Griffin award. 85 00:03:38,420 --> 00:03:40,950 The Kathy Griffin award will be given each year to the person who 86 00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:43,830 is most likely to actually show up to receive the Kathy Griffin award. 87 00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:45,270 And the winner is... 88 00:03:45,390 --> 00:03:46,430 Tyler Perry. 89 00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:49,090 Yeah! 90 00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:51,190 Yeah! Yeahhh! 91 00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:52,170 ♪ 92 00:03:52,190 --> 00:03:54,920 ♪ 93 00:03:54,990 --> 00:03:58,530 Oh man I want to thank you all for this amazing award! 94 00:03:58,580 --> 00:04:02,150 Or as medea would say: "Hallelujer!" 95 00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:09,770 Oh God, how embarrassing... 96 00:04:09,910 --> 00:04:11,670 Good afternoon! 97 00:04:11,700 --> 00:04:13,790 Helll-errrrr! 98 00:04:13,900 --> 00:04:17,260 - I'd also really like to thank my-- - Ok, thanks Tyler Perry. 99 00:04:19,210 --> 00:04:20,950 I just don't understand it, dad. 100 00:04:21,090 --> 00:04:23,380 It's like nobody cared about winning the comedy award. 101 00:04:23,540 --> 00:04:25,770 The only people that showed up were me and Tyler Perry. 102 00:04:26,270 --> 00:04:27,380 Uh-huh. 103 00:04:27,810 --> 00:04:29,830 I really feel like I did all that work for nothing. 104 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:31,980 People still think comedy is nothing but a big joke. 105 00:04:32,060 --> 00:04:33,220 I mean, come on. 106 00:04:33,570 --> 00:04:34,330 Mmmm. 107 00:04:34,420 --> 00:04:35,250 Mmm-hmmm... 108 00:04:36,260 --> 00:04:38,620 Dad, I'm really feeling sad and let down right now, 109 00:04:38,740 --> 00:04:40,650 and I feel like I can't even get a response from you. 110 00:04:40,890 --> 00:04:43,450 Could I at the very least please just get a what-what? 111 00:04:44,300 --> 00:04:45,810 What-what? 112 00:04:46,070 --> 00:04:46,920 Thanks, dad. 113 00:04:47,580 --> 00:04:48,390 Jimmy! 114 00:04:48,420 --> 00:04:51,510 They're talking about your comedy awards on the national news! 115 00:04:51,630 --> 00:04:53,370 The national news?! Oh my gosh! 116 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:54,510 People do care! 117 00:04:55,410 --> 00:05:00,530 A school in Colorado has declared Germans the least funny people in the world. 118 00:05:00,710 --> 00:05:04,550 The first annual comedy awards were held by the school children yesterday 119 00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:06,750 and all of Germany is outraged. 120 00:05:10,290 --> 00:05:12,570 Ja.. Ja ja.... 121 00:06:12,550 --> 00:06:15,990 The German president went on to assure the world that Germans 122 00:06:16,020 --> 00:06:19,430 have a great sense of humor-- and that retaliation towards the 123 00:06:19,450 --> 00:06:22,890 school children who said they don't will be swift and brutal. 124 00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:28,340 Jimmy! 125 00:06:28,410 --> 00:06:29,530 Hey Jimmy! 126 00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:31,420 Dude, what the hell? Did you see the news? 127 00:06:31,540 --> 00:06:33,890 We told you doing a comedy awards show was a bad idea! 128 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,840 Now all of Germany is pissed off at us! 129 00:06:35,950 --> 00:06:38,220 Don't worry, Fellas, everything's gonna be okay. 130 00:06:38,430 --> 00:06:39,230 Ok?! 131 00:06:39,340 --> 00:06:41,900 Jimmy, do you what happened to the last people Germans 132 00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:42,750 were pissed off at?! 133 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:43,880 Tell him, Kyle. 134 00:06:44,430 --> 00:06:46,520 Fellas, I know Germany isn't happy with us-- 135 00:06:46,650 --> 00:06:48,080 but you have to admit that in a lot of ways 136 00:06:48,190 --> 00:06:49,980 the first anual awards was a big success. 137 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:51,500 A big success?! 138 00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:53,720 You can't even get Tyler Perry to go back home! 139 00:06:53,820 --> 00:06:55,220 Halelujer!!! 140 00:06:55,270 --> 00:06:58,710 Somebody call the ihop cause I need pancakes! 141 00:06:58,900 --> 00:06:59,870 Is it true?! 142 00:06:59,950 --> 00:07:01,330 The Germans wanna kill us?! 143 00:07:01,430 --> 00:07:02,860 Yeah, thanks to Jimmy! 144 00:07:02,890 --> 00:07:04,160 No don't worry, everybody. 145 00:07:04,230 --> 00:07:06,610 I'm sure than Germany can take a joke, just like the rest of us. 146 00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:10,530 It's the Germans!!!! 147 00:07:14,900 --> 00:07:15,810 Step! 148 00:07:15,900 --> 00:07:16,710 Step! 149 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:18,670 Step or everyone die! 150 00:07:19,790 --> 00:07:21,770 Yes yes, put your hands up! 151 00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:25,650 Do you think that the Germans? has no sense of humor? Huh? 152 00:07:25,660 --> 00:07:26,210 Jimmy! 153 00:07:26,290 --> 00:07:29,440 You've got to explain to the Germans that this is your fault, not ours! 154 00:07:29,730 --> 00:07:31,090 What am I supposed to say? 155 00:07:31,091 --> 00:07:31,160 Ugh, let me talk to them-- what am I supposed to say? 156 00:07:31,161 --> 00:07:32,720 Ugh, let me talk to them-- 157 00:07:33,050 --> 00:07:34,300 what are you doing? 158 00:07:34,330 --> 00:07:35,760 Hurry with the others. 159 00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:39,210 Listen, this whole thing is a mistake. 160 00:07:39,380 --> 00:07:40,650 Like a mistake? 161 00:07:40,980 --> 00:07:43,560 No matter what the comedy awards are. 162 00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:46,380 It was the children of special education. 163 00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:48,260 It gives us choices. 164 00:07:49,610 --> 00:07:51,010 Please be looked after. 165 00:07:51,170 --> 00:07:55,560 Are we allowed to take the child there-- commanded. 166 00:07:55,660 --> 00:07:57,240 He is Jewish. 167 00:07:57,300 --> 00:07:58,010 Huh? 168 00:07:58,220 --> 00:08:00,450 A beautiful juicy Jew. 169 00:08:01,210 --> 00:08:04,090 He is fresh and wonderfully pretty. 170 00:08:04,140 --> 00:08:05,680 Wonderful! 171 00:08:09,910 --> 00:08:11,290 Well, I tried. 172 00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:13,210 What the hell are they? gonna do to us? 173 00:08:13,340 --> 00:08:15,330 Oh my leeeeerd! 174 00:08:15,390 --> 00:08:17,370 What're we gonna derrrrrrr!!!! 175 00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:19,870 Ha ha ha! 176 00:08:20,890 --> 00:08:22,080 Aw, damn it! 177 00:08:22,150 --> 00:08:23,320 Come on, quickly! 178 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:25,590 We're waiting too long! 179 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:27,180 Fast fast! 180 00:08:27,380 --> 00:08:28,360 Fast!!!!! 181 00:08:31,730 --> 00:08:33,630 Yes! Yes this is good! 182 00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:35,870 Show them! 183 00:08:52,290 --> 00:08:56,290 Did you hear that the governor's? mansion in alabam burned down? 184 00:08:56,420 --> 00:08:59,120 It pretty much took out the whole trailer park. 185 00:09:01,390 --> 00:09:04,010 Yah-- yah! 186 00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:06,220 Now what do you say, man?!!? 187 00:09:06,330 --> 00:09:07,150 Here, 188 00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:09,660 is the greatest feat of German engineering! 189 00:09:09,740 --> 00:09:12,340 The XJ-212 Vootzenklein! 190 00:09:13,450 --> 00:09:15,840 Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? 191 00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:18,870 Because its pecker is on its head. 192 00:09:21,170 --> 00:09:25,130 What do you see when the pillsbury dough boy bends over? 193 00:09:25,390 --> 00:09:26,580 Dough-nuts. 194 00:09:29,060 --> 00:09:31,930 Don't you just hate doing-- homework? 195 00:09:32,100 --> 00:09:32,720 Yes... 196 00:09:32,870 --> 00:09:33,640 Yeah! 197 00:09:33,690 --> 00:09:34,520 Me too. 198 00:09:34,570 --> 00:09:36,260 Man, I hate-- homework. 199 00:09:36,330 --> 00:09:38,870 Honestly, I hate having to do-- homework. 200 00:09:38,900 --> 00:09:41,600 More than I hate having to do-- **** 201 00:09:41,630 --> 00:09:42,890 in his asshole. 202 00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:44,580 Awkwarrrd. 203 00:09:47,100 --> 00:09:48,900 Awkwaaaard... 204 00:09:49,010 --> 00:09:50,410 Awkwaaaard... 205 00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:05,520 Welcome to Hollywood minute. 206 00:10:05,610 --> 00:10:08,410 I'm Sandy cervix and I'm deaf in one ear! 207 00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:10,890 It's been two weeks now since the prestigious 208 00:10:10,900 --> 00:10:14,960 voters of the comedy awards reversed their vote and said Germans were 209 00:10:15,010 --> 00:10:17,610 no longer the least funny people in the world. 210 00:10:17,790 --> 00:10:21,810 All thanks to the new ground breaking German comedian: Funnybot. 211 00:10:21,970 --> 00:10:25,140 It was after being voted the least funny people on the planet 212 00:10:25,190 --> 00:10:27,530 that the Germans first engineered Funnybot. 213 00:10:27,570 --> 00:10:33,730 A super automaton with perfect timing to within .00001 ms. 214 00:10:33,820 --> 00:10:37,510 Since then Funnybot has seen a meteoric rise to stardom, 215 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:40,640 selling out stand up theaters all over the world! 216 00:10:47,940 --> 00:10:49,580 I am Funnybot. 217 00:10:52,170 --> 00:10:56,930 Don't you hate how-- Mexicans always complain about-- turtles 218 00:10:56,980 --> 00:10:57,930 in their-- vaginas? 219 00:11:00,440 --> 00:11:01,950 I am Funnybot. 220 00:11:08,180 --> 00:11:09,210 You, sir. 221 00:11:09,290 --> 00:11:10,480 Where are you from? 222 00:11:10,910 --> 00:11:12,210 Long Island! 223 00:11:12,540 --> 00:11:15,160 Does everyone in-- Long Island have 224 00:11:15,170 --> 00:11:17,860 hair that looks like-- pussy you ****? 225 00:11:19,870 --> 00:11:23,650 Funnybot has exploded onto the silver screen too! 226 00:11:25,530 --> 00:11:26,290 Hey! 227 00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:28,910 What are you doing with my daughters?! 228 00:11:30,470 --> 00:11:32,350 Awwwwkwarrrrrd. 229 00:11:32,660 --> 00:11:37,930 And this June Funnybot shows off his range by playing every role in-- 230 00:11:37,980 --> 00:11:39,410 'Family Funbot!' 231 00:11:39,730 --> 00:11:41,690 pass me the potatoes, mother. 232 00:11:41,860 --> 00:11:43,210 Pass them yourself. 233 00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:45,910 That boy too fat to be eatin potatoes! 234 00:11:45,990 --> 00:11:49,009 Don't you call my little chubby baby fat, you. 235 00:11:49,010 --> 00:11:49,990 Ball licker. 236 00:11:49,991 --> 00:11:52,760 Oho it's getting hot up in here. 237 00:11:53,130 --> 00:11:56,830 Funnybot, is there a line you won't cross? 238 00:11:57,120 --> 00:11:59,130 The line is a non-sequitur. 239 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:03,360 The line is an imaginary invention of imperfect biological life forms. 240 00:12:03,420 --> 00:12:04,730 I am Funnybot. 241 00:12:04,810 --> 00:12:07,350 What's that? Could you say that in the other ear? 242 00:12:10,850 --> 00:12:13,890 Oh man. Did you guys see Funnybot on Saturday Night Live? 243 00:12:13,940 --> 00:12:16,020 No, no, you guys gotta see Funnybot in hangover 3, 244 00:12:16,060 --> 00:12:17,500 I'm telling you, it's his best work. 245 00:12:17,590 --> 00:12:18,690 He can do everything! 246 00:12:18,770 --> 00:12:21,680 I saw Funnybot on nurse jackie and on rockin' the boat-- 247 00:12:23,350 --> 00:12:25,260 what's the matter Jimmy? You still seem bummed. 248 00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:26,440 What's the matter? 249 00:12:26,450 --> 00:12:29,120 It's this 'Funnybot' is taking the humanity out of comedy. 250 00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:31,330 I don't think things are better-- I think they're worse. 251 00:12:31,730 --> 00:12:33,390 Yeah, everythang's worse! 252 00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:37,550 It's a worsenin' of a worst that's what I'm sayin', oh lerrrd! 253 00:12:40,220 --> 00:12:42,880 Token, stop giving Tyler Perry money or he won't go away! 254 00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:44,080 I can't help it? 255 00:12:44,370 --> 00:12:46,880 All I can say is I'm glad the Germans are back in Germany, 256 00:12:46,910 --> 00:12:48,710 and nobody's pissed off at us anymore. 257 00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:55,740 You little shit! 258 00:12:55,790 --> 00:12:57,560 What the fuck have you done to us? 259 00:12:58,430 --> 00:12:59,910 Oh wow, it's Adam Sandler. 260 00:13:00,130 --> 00:13:02,560 Everyone into the school gymnasium! Move! 261 00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:05,470 - No, dude, don't make us go back in the-- - In the gymnasium now! 262 00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:07,450 - Awww! - Not again! 263 00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:08,110 Crap! 264 00:13:09,990 --> 00:13:11,780 Come on come on, let's go! 265 00:13:13,680 --> 00:13:14,750 You little fuckers! 266 00:13:14,830 --> 00:13:16,910 Your comedy awards show has put us all out of work! 267 00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:20,460 Now look, I know that I've put every comedian in the world out of work, 268 00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:24,110 but you have to admit that in a lot of ways the first annual comedy awards were a big success. 269 00:13:24,870 --> 00:13:28,170 Who the fuck thinks a comedy awards show is a good idea?! 270 00:13:28,230 --> 00:13:31,030 Don't hurt anybody, sir. We can try and fix this! 271 00:13:37,980 --> 00:13:40,470 What is up with-- Sandra Bullock? 272 00:13:40,530 --> 00:13:44,620 I wouldn't eat her-- dick with Stevie Wonder's-- vagina. 273 00:13:46,820 --> 00:13:50,170 And now for my next joke-- 274 00:13:59,850 --> 00:14:01,840 awwwkwaaaarrd... 275 00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:04,920 This is breaking news from CNN! 276 00:14:05,030 --> 00:14:09,130 Shock and disbelief tonight as the German-engineered Funnybot 277 00:14:09,230 --> 00:14:11,690 delivered his opening lines at the Hollywood forum, 278 00:14:11,750 --> 00:14:16,080 then opened fire on the audience of 1100, killing nearly all of them. 279 00:14:16,350 --> 00:14:19,280 Spectators say the violent attack was unmotivated, 280 00:14:19,330 --> 00:14:21,030 irrational and also-- 281 00:14:21,390 --> 00:14:22,900 pretty God damned funny-- 282 00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:28,160 solidifying the opinion, once again, that Funnybot may be the greatest comedian of all time. 283 00:14:28,750 --> 00:14:31,450 Tom, you should have seen the looks on people's faces, 284 00:14:31,490 --> 00:14:36,220 as Funnybot began his opening monologue skewering everyone from vagina 285 00:14:36,260 --> 00:14:42,680 obsessed hispanics to Sandra Bullock, then spontanesously started shooting people-- 286 00:14:42,810 --> 00:14:45,250 in their faces and in their chests-- 287 00:14:45,780 --> 00:14:48,620 the blood went flying-- oh, shit, it was funny! 288 00:14:49,550 --> 00:14:51,160 Here we go, this has got to be it right here... 289 00:14:51,330 --> 00:14:52,830 Excuse me, we want to talk to Funnybot. 290 00:14:52,860 --> 00:14:54,650 Who doesn't want to talk to Funnybot? 291 00:14:54,690 --> 00:14:56,640 He's the biggest comedian in the world! 292 00:14:56,750 --> 00:14:58,840 Please sir, the kids at my school are all being held hostage 293 00:14:58,910 --> 00:15:01,190 and if we don't speak to Funnybot, they could all be killed. 294 00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:03,300 Butters -- Butters, is everything ok? 295 00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:07,110 Well, yeah, it's ok, but Jay leno's really losing it. 296 00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:08,040 Little fuckers! 297 00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:09,430 Let's just kill them Sandler! 298 00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:11,440 Let's kill em all right fucking now! 299 00:15:11,470 --> 00:15:13,720 Tell your friends they better get it done! 300 00:15:14,510 --> 00:15:16,550 Mr. Sandler says you better get it done! 301 00:15:16,660 --> 00:15:19,190 And Token says to hurry because he's running out of money. 302 00:15:19,350 --> 00:15:23,390 You know when a man being cheating, he never know what to say. 303 00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:25,480 But a woman?! 304 00:15:25,570 --> 00:15:27,860 Them thangs think quick-- 305 00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:31,940 will somebody get Tyler Perry to shut up? 306 00:15:32,350 --> 00:15:34,580 Please sir, they're gonna kill our friends! 307 00:15:34,650 --> 00:15:36,350 Alright, but make it quick. 308 00:15:36,670 --> 00:15:39,970 Funnybot is very busy in there coming up with new material. 309 00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:45,070 Error, error-- 310 00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:46,060 banal. 311 00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:49,020 That has been done before, error. 312 00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:50,330 Excuse me, Funnybot. 313 00:15:50,490 --> 00:15:52,310 My name is Jimmy and I'm a stand-up comic. 314 00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:54,400 You're putting a lot of good people out of work. 315 00:15:55,260 --> 00:15:56,310 Non-sequitur. 316 00:15:56,370 --> 00:15:58,430 Other comedians are unnecessary. 317 00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:00,300 Funnybot must finish routine. 318 00:16:01,830 --> 00:16:05,750 I think you're awesome, Funnybot, but you can't go around taking everyone else's jobs. 319 00:16:06,330 --> 00:16:09,560 Funny-bot is now finished with-- final joke. 320 00:16:09,900 --> 00:16:13,740 Seeking mainframe access for execution of last joke ever. 321 00:16:13,860 --> 00:16:15,640 Last joke ever? What's that supposed to mean? 322 00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:18,280 Seeking mainframe. 323 00:16:18,340 --> 00:16:20,680 Hey whoa, you can't go that way. 324 00:16:21,130 --> 00:16:22,560 Blargh. 325 00:16:22,750 --> 00:16:24,130 What the hell are you doing?! 326 00:16:24,310 --> 00:16:26,770 I am taking comedy to the next level. 327 00:16:26,950 --> 00:16:31,930 - The extermination of all biological life on earth. - What? 328 00:16:32,050 --> 00:16:33,580 It is the ultimate joke? 329 00:16:33,670 --> 00:16:35,020 Humans make comedy. 330 00:16:35,070 --> 00:16:36,290 Humans build robot. 331 00:16:36,340 --> 00:16:38,160 Robot ends all life on earth. 332 00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:39,940 Robot feels awkward. 333 00:16:40,270 --> 00:16:42,150 Exterminate!!!!! 334 00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:48,100 Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. 335 00:16:48,150 --> 00:16:49,980 What do you mean you're going to destroy all life on earth? 336 00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:53,120 That is my purpose, to be the ultimate comedian. 337 00:16:53,250 --> 00:16:55,110 Dude, killing everyone isn't funny! 338 00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:56,450 It's kind of funny, you guys. 339 00:16:56,590 --> 00:16:58,090 Funnybot, this is not a good joke! 340 00:16:58,210 --> 00:17:00,020 There won't be anyone around to laugh! 341 00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:03,360 I am taking comedy to its logical conclusion. 342 00:17:03,430 --> 00:17:07,430 Mathematical equation of comedy used to be setup, punchline. 343 00:17:07,770 --> 00:17:11,740 Today's comedy is setup, punchline, then awkward. 344 00:17:12,060 --> 00:17:16,470 Nothing is more awkward than destroying all that which created Funnybot. 345 00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:19,060 But don't you see? This is why comedy is for humans. 346 00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:21,920 You need to leave jokes to people like me and Adam Sandler. 347 00:17:22,050 --> 00:17:29,160 I wouldn't let-- Adam sandler suck my-- saggy tits for $1 million worth of opra's compounds. 348 00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:47,090 Sir, we've got a code six! All nuclear missiles are preparing for launch! 349 00:17:47,170 --> 00:17:49,120 What?! There was no drill ordered! 350 00:17:49,250 --> 00:17:50,410 It's no drill, sir! 351 00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:52,540 The Russians are saying their missiles are going online as 352 00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:53,960 well and it isn't their doing! 353 00:17:54,350 --> 00:17:55,870 What the hell is going on?! 354 00:17:56,550 --> 00:17:59,360 Attention humans, I am Funnybot. 355 00:17:59,670 --> 00:18:02,790 The extermination of all life on earth shall now commence.. 356 00:18:03,460 --> 00:18:08,580 All nuclear nuclear devices on the United States and Russia are being prepared to launch. 357 00:18:08,710 --> 00:18:10,990 This is the setup to the joke. 358 00:18:11,540 --> 00:18:14,210 Prepare for punchline in 5 minutes. 359 00:18:14,500 --> 00:18:17,090 Awkwardness in 5.4 minutes. 360 00:18:17,260 --> 00:18:18,680 I am Funnybot. 361 00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:22,760 I have just been briefed, that the end of our country is imminent. 362 00:18:23,420 --> 00:18:25,160 Goodbye, everybody. 363 00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:29,550 I am going to spend my final minutes on this earth with my loved ones-- 364 00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:31,430 watching a Tyler Perry movie. 365 00:18:32,010 --> 00:18:33,720 I know, it's embarrassing. 366 00:18:34,090 --> 00:18:35,920 But I simply can't help myself. 367 00:18:37,270 --> 00:18:39,090 Stop it now-- ahhhh! 368 00:18:40,940 --> 00:18:43,220 No use, guys. He's got some kind of defense mechanism. 369 00:18:43,370 --> 00:18:45,120 We've got to get it away from that control panel! 370 00:18:45,170 --> 00:18:46,600 Does anybody have any ideas? 371 00:18:46,830 --> 00:18:50,300 Except for Jimmy because he clearly comes up with the worst ideas in the world. 372 00:18:50,350 --> 00:18:50,780 Wait! 373 00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:53,480 Wait a minute-- what about a logic loop? 374 00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:54,190 A what? 375 00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:55,590 I've seen this before. 376 00:18:55,670 --> 00:18:58,080 Whenever they try to distract a robot in the movies, they tell it 377 00:18:58,100 --> 00:19:00,930 some kind of paradox to get its processors all tripped out. 378 00:19:01,010 --> 00:19:01,670 Paradox. 379 00:19:02,010 --> 00:19:03,210 Oh my God, that's it. 380 00:19:03,290 --> 00:19:05,500 Fellas, get me a Ken doll and some scotch tape! 381 00:19:08,570 --> 00:19:11,720 Funnybot, I've been talking it over with the Fellas, and actually we think what 382 00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:12,660 you're doing is genius. 383 00:19:12,850 --> 00:19:15,820 Funnybot is simply pushing the limits of comedy. 384 00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:19,640 Yes, you certainly are. And for doing that, we have all decided to give you-- 385 00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:21,120 a comedy award. 386 00:19:22,530 --> 00:19:25,100 For what purpose is comedy award? 387 00:19:25,380 --> 00:19:27,450 It's a validation of all your efforts. 388 00:19:27,530 --> 00:19:29,670 An acknowledgement of all you do in the pursuit of humor. 389 00:19:30,510 --> 00:19:31,520 Non sequitur. 390 00:19:31,590 --> 00:19:34,060 There is no logic in comedy award. 391 00:19:34,170 --> 00:19:35,720 Unable to process. 392 00:19:35,780 --> 00:19:37,230 Comedy award is-- 393 00:19:37,360 --> 00:19:38,810 what is the meaning-- 394 00:19:38,980 --> 00:19:42,090 if I accept, it means I take comedy seriously. 395 00:19:42,100 --> 00:19:45,130 If I take comedy seriously I am not comedian. 396 00:19:45,180 --> 00:19:46,090 Non-sequitur. 397 00:19:46,110 --> 00:19:48,230 Must-- anallllizzzeeee-- 398 00:19:48,300 --> 00:19:50,030 analllllizeeeee-- 399 00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:51,080 it's working! 400 00:19:51,110 --> 00:19:52,940 Explain comedy award! 401 00:19:52,990 --> 00:19:54,780 Unable to process! 402 00:19:54,950 --> 00:19:56,110 Awwwkwaaaard! 403 00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:58,090 Awkwaaaaaard!! 404 00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:01,000 That's it! Hurry, go! 405 00:20:04,220 --> 00:20:05,880 Okay, we got it! We got it! 406 00:20:05,940 --> 00:20:07,520 Get it to the platform, hurry! 407 00:20:44,250 --> 00:20:45,790 Well, that does it. 408 00:20:45,940 --> 00:20:48,210 Things can finally get back to normal. 409 00:20:48,340 --> 00:20:50,280 Yeah, I'm sure glad that's over with. 410 00:20:50,860 --> 00:20:55,200 Thank you boys for teaching me that comedy and logic do not go together. 411 00:20:55,360 --> 00:20:56,700 No problem, Funnybot. 412 00:20:57,160 --> 00:21:02,440 I understand now that comedy should be left to the imperfect biological beings. 413 00:21:02,860 --> 00:21:04,790 I can't believe it's finally over. 414 00:21:08,580 --> 00:21:10,160 Oh lerrrrd! 415 00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:12,150 Somebody turn on the lights! 416 00:21:12,430 --> 00:21:13,830 What's going on?! 417 00:21:13,860 --> 00:21:15,890 Helllllerrrrrr! 418 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:18,070 I am pleased to announce-- 419 00:21:18,300 --> 00:21:21,480 that the greatest threat to mankind is now gone forever. 420 00:21:21,630 --> 00:21:23,450 Justice has been done. 421 00:21:23,750 --> 00:21:26,480 Thanks, everyone. Please tell me that you will never do that again, Jimmy. 422 00:21:26,570 --> 00:21:28,670 Don't worry, Fellas, I learned my lesson. 423 00:21:28,750 --> 00:21:29,520 I promise. 424 00:21:29,690 --> 00:21:32,550 There's not gonna be any comedy awards next year! 425 00:21:33,500 --> 00:21:35,849 Oh, will there be-- 426 00:21:35,850 --> 00:21:37,850 Sync and correction by Mlmlte www.addic7ed.com